G-Wing Dating Service
by aznhon
Summary: Come and watch pretty much all the G-Wing characters videos on what they're looking for in their perfect man/woman. (A/N) Got Cathy's video up now. Must have forgotten her when I was writing this.


G-Wing Dating Service

You sit yourself down in front of a chair and slowly select a tape from the box and pop it into the VCR.Then you sit back and enjoy what you see on the screen…

## The Guys

Heero walks onto the screen and sits down on a chair.

"My name is Heero Yuy.I'm Japanese and looking for a girl who is NOT Relina *shudders at the thought of Relina* and she's longs, smooth, sleek and loves to blow things up…just like my gun here!"

Heero whips his gun out and begins to polish it.

Wufei walks onto the screen with his arms crossed and refuses to sit down.

"My name is Chang Wufei and I'm the descendent of a legendary Chinese warrior clan.I'm serious about justice and I hate the Bad Guys.I'm looking for a girl who's a bit like my Gundam, Nataku, but since no girls out there has extendable "dragonfang" arms and can withstand pretty much any explosion (except self-destruct), I'm looking for an older woman.I'm hoping she's been in the army and fought on my side when the war was going on…

Wufei suddenly looks off into space (not literally) and begins to think of Sally.

Quatre smiles sweetly at the camera and waves.

"Hello!My name's Quatre Raberba Winner!I'm the only son of the Winner Family and I got twenty-nine sisters-but having so many sisters does not make me less of a man.I'm still manly…aren't I?"

Duo pops up on the screen, scaring the cameraman and causing the screen the shutter for a while.

"Oops, didn't do any harm to ya, did I?No?Good.So-Yo!I'm Duo Maxwell, the God of Death.So common babe, why won't you come over and be my goddess of…um…something.I know, that was lame, but I'm the most cheerful and happiest of the Gundam Team, plus I got a sense of humor!And, not to mention, I'm not as serious as some people I know!"

"Ah…shut up!" Wufei cries out from behind the screen.

Duo sticks his tongue out at him and cries back: "Make me!"

Trowa walks up to the screen and turns his head so the camera can see his face, but his hair knocks the camera a couple of times.

"My names is Trowa Barton, but that's not my real name.I don't know what my real name is, but if you must call me something, call me NoName.I'm work for a traveling circus with my "sister".I don't know what I'm looking for in a girl…but if I must state what I'm looking for in a woman, then she must be a sisterly figure."

A translucent figure floats onto the screen.

"My name is Treize and for the records, I'm already dead, killed on the battle field.I'm looking for a headstrong woman who loves me enough to have split personalities."

Suddenly, Treize turns to smoke and disappears.

Milliardo steps up into view and removes his mask.

"I have two identities, I am both Zechs Marquise and Milliardo Peacecraft."

A hand pops up on the screen and hands Milliardo a note.He takes a look at it, looks up and screams behind him, "NO TROWA, CANNOT HAVE ONE OF MY IDENTITIES!"

# The Girls

Relina walks onto the screen and gives one of her sickening grins.

"Hi!I have two names as brother does; I'm both Relina Peacecraft and Relina Darlian.If you think you seen my face before, you're right, because I was on the big screen once as the Queen of the World (who everyone loved).I'm looking for an emotionless man and who loves to fight for peace…kinda like Heero."

"I'm still not going to go out with you Relina!" Heero cried out.

Relina continues to smile at the screen."We'll see."

Dorothy sits down on a chair and begins to smooth out her eyebrows.

"I'm a war crazy chick and my man better be as well!"

"No kidding you're crazy," Quatre stumbles onto the screen, grasping his gut, and then turns towards the camera."Watch out boys, when she get the chance, she just might stab you, like she did to me."

Quatre faints and Dorothy just sits there and shrugs.

"Hi, I'm Hilde and I'm looking for a guy who's a fighter and won't mind if I accidentally try to shoot him in space…

Hilde begins to think of Duo.

Lady Une walks into view.

"My name is Lady Une.How dare you ask me to do this, my heart belongs to Mister Treize and no one else."

Noin step onto the screen and takes a seat.

"Hi, my name's Lucrezia Noin.There's not much to say, but I'm after a guy who lead two different lives and he's into try to conquer all."

Catherine's face suddenly appears and she's wearing something really revealing.

"Hello!My name's Cathy!I work for a traveling circus and I do the knives stunt.My perfec date would be to chuck knives at the guy's head just to show him how trust worthy I am.(Oh and a word of warning about Trowa.If you're ever going to kiss Trowa, tilt your head to the side so he doesn't jab his hair into your eye.I speak from experience.)"

"I HEARD THAT!" Trowa cries from off screen.

"Remember, tilt to the side," Catherine whispers before the screen blacks out.

Sally's face appears on the screen.

"My name's Sally Po and-"

Wufei stumbles onto the screen.

"Maxwell…" he growls.

"Go on Wu-man, ask her," Duo whispers.

Wufei clears his throat and holds out a small flower towards Sally."Sally, would you like to go out with me sometime?"

"Aww, Wufei, I'm sorry but I can't," Sally takes the flower from this grasp and sniffs it."I'm five years older than you, it just wouldn't be right."

"Damn it!" Wufei screams."I'm gonna kill you Maxwell!"

You put the last of the tapes back into the box and push it slowly away from you, thinking it just might explode.And it does.

Tape entrails cover you and you're thinking unpleasant thoughts about Heero, because you know he set that bomb in there.

** **

**Author's Note:** Pathetic?Yes, very.I don't know what I was thinking.Bored I suppose.The dumbest things come out of me when I'm bored.Some of the characters were hard to think up something for, so they're really stupid, but so is the whole thing.


End file.
